If you're in my approximate age bracket, your social feeds are probably flooded with babies. It's cute and it's annoying. I'm right there with you, and now I'm one of them. 

With the new ones, captions usually say something along the lines of "#oneweek! We are so in love!" and the like. Probably true. What these posts aren't saying is how extremely rough the first few weeks are. So, so rough. That's not to say it isn't worth it. It is. But after pushing out a baby, your body still isn't your own. It's even more at service to your little one. If you choose to breastfeed, as I did (which I felt very weird about but knew I would do, if I could, for the benefits it would provide Oliver and me), you're even more at the mercy of your infant. There are days that Raz wakes up and asks me how many times Oliver and I were up in the night. Sometimes I think must be nice.

 Usually, I don't get too miffed, though, because we need him to be able to really show up at work, whereas Oliver and I can nap during the day if we need to. It's not perfect, but it works, and it's really the only option right now. 

So, what am I saying? I'm saying that we've done this lack of sleep thing before, but it was on our terms: we were out partying, I was opening Nordstrom Rack stores around the country and giving interviews at 4 a.m. Having to wake up when I don't want to (or go to bed past my bedtime) isn't news. What is, though, is that it's my body that has to wake up and provide, too, and that adds a whole other layer to it all. It's exhausting, but it's also really, really special.  

He's passed out and I'm about to join him. 

I used to feel weird about women saying the breastfeeding bond is really special because I didn't want to think about boobs and babies on them and clogged ducts and biting and etc. etc. But now that I'm there, I get it. I love hanging out with this human I created and giving him everything he needs to survive and thrive. It's our time and it is as special as they say it is. 

If you're wondering if I'm going to go all Kourtney Kardashian on you and go crazy organic, yes, I'm on my way. I'm researching super natural skincare because I don't want my biggest organ absorbing chemicals and transferring them to my child. If you have great products to recommend, let me know. But I'm still eating Twizzlers and I can't say that will ever change. We all have our limits and I know I can't be all goat milk and twice daily meditation. Not yet at least. 

A couple things that have helped a little with the sleep are good nursing bras (I tried sleeping without one and it wasn't comfortable, unfortunately) and glow in the dark binkies. Those things are seriously a Godsend. I've linked my favorites below--note: I've tried A LOT of nursing bras and tanks and they're pretty outlandishly priced. Apparently Nordstrom can convert any bra to a nursing bra, which is AMAZE, but I've recently found some great ones at Target. And any excuse to go to Target, well, shoooot. 

And don't forget, we love our #oneweekold, but it's okay if we feel like 

damn, baby, this is the biggest challenge I ever signed up for

. Because it is, and if we all started owning it, we could really start to help each other do better and be better for our babies.

Now I'm off to research organic lotions and prep for the kid's first road trip. Happy almost-4th!

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