Hey, Asshole, My Baby Is Perfect—Part 2
When ODP was an infant, the unsolicited comment we got the most was, “He’s so big!” This irritated me because it felt irrelevant. Was there a “normal” they were seeing that I wasn’t? He was usually around the 50th-60th percentile for all things around the time that we were getting those comments, so if there was a normal that existed, he was IT.
I knew these people didn’t mean anything by their comments and that they were probably said without much thought. But they bugged me. I wrote about how it bugged me. Just tell me he’s handsome, tell me I’m doing great, tell me he has a great smile. Leave relative size alone.
Because I live a life in which God likes to laugh, I now have a princess who receives the opposite commentary: "Oh, she’s a tiny little thing!”
This time, though, there may actually be a problem. Baby B has skipped over two lines on the weight charts since her last appointment, which is a concern. She hovers around the 3rd percentile no matter how much I feed her. We’re working on getting her weight back up to a more “normal” (for her) range. She might just be a slow gainer, but we don’t want there to be developmental repercussions because of malnourishment.
I sat in our four month appointment racked with guilt. What am I doing wrong that my baby keeps dropping in her charts? I am her only food source, so a lot of this is on me, whether the people in my life choose to fluff my ego about it or not. It’s just fact. She is a fickle and distracted little eater. She is efficient. She doesn’t linger or fall asleep on the boob like her brother did. I appreciate this about her. But it is apparently to her own detriment.
Our pediatrician has not yet recommended we supplement. She’s asked me to eat more so the milk I give her has more calories. She’s isolating variables. But, I am an overachiever and this is my CHILD we are talking about, so. I am:
Pumping even more while she naps
Offering her food more often
Getting her up once more in the night when I hear that she’s stirring to feed her
Eating more and choosing snacks/meals higher in calories
Adding supplements and teas and cookies to my day. I pee almost as much as I did when I was pregnant
I’m working my body really hard and I hope it plays nicely with me. This is HARD work and I used to think it was just being a busy mom of two that made me forget to eat. And it is/was! That was fine the first time. I lived on handfuls of peanut butter pretzels. This time grazing on snacks all day isn’t going to cut it. We have a weight check next week to see where she’s at and what we need to do next, if anything. I’m hopeful, but I’m open to whatever comes next. In the meantime, our little athlete is rolling and smiling and thriving otherwise.
So, the next time you comment on a baby’s size, consider this. Consider the babies who aren’t gaining and we don’t know why. Consider the babies who are gaining too much and we don’t know why. Consider the babies who are perfect just the way they are and tell the mommies they’re doing great.
Your baby is perfect.
You’re doing great.
Really.
