Don't Call Me A #Mompreneur
Because there now exists a day for everything, last week was #MompreneurDay. It came and went and I was lightly celebrated by the new co-working space I’m helping to market in the little town we moved to last year. I felt seen for performing on top of managing a very big and messy load. I AM a mompreneur!, I thought proudly to myself as my toddler screamed at me from the other room and my baby flung food on the floor.
And then I saw this tweet from Amazon. It bugged me. A lot. It felt like an exploitation of women “doing it all,” just like we’ve always done, without any mention of the systems “Tara” has probably had to put in place to get her work done or the supportive partner she has by her side. No one calls dads “dad-preneurs” because it’s assumed their wives are shouldering the house and childcare duties. Dads aren’t expected to do it all in the same way, which is positive and negative in its own right.
I didn’t grow up seeing a gross gender inequity in my family. My mom dropped me off at school. My dad picked me up at daycare. They had—from what I saw—a pretty equal share in all things me. That share shifted from time to time depending on work obligations and who could better handle my emotional intensity/attitude/social outings, but I always saw in my dad a willing and equal partner. I always saw in my mom a BOSS. Not a girl boss. Not a lady boss. A BOSS.
The assumption remains that whatever a woman takes on—whether it’s hustling to build a business, going to work full time, writing a novel, saving the world, etc. etc.—it will be on top of her home and childcare duties, whereas men are seen as separate from those things. In 2020, this is still the assumption. Or, at least what we’re consuming in a whole lot of media. So we make piddly little videos celebrating moms who want more out of their days than listening to their toddlers scream at them from across the house and watching their babies throw food on the floor.
You know what I want to see? I want to see the video of Tara creating and marketing her products or whatever she does while her husband folds the laundry. I want to see Tara walking a factory hand-in-hand with her daughter, explaining to her about what the machines we’re seeing do and how they contribute to creating the things she sells on Amazon to feed their family. I don’t want to see a caricature of a tired mom doing it all. I want to see a family that is working hard to support each other’s dreams every day. I also want to see a video of Tara’s husband “dad-preneuring” because, if created to look like a similar cartoon version of real life, it would make people talk and conversation is good for change.
Mr. Tara taking a client call with a baby pulling his hair? Yes, please. That is happening. All over the world, that is happening at this very instant. And I want to see it. On my computer, on my TV, all the time. #normalizedadpreneurs!
The reality is that because of our biologies and our old-school cultural climate, many women shoulder most of the home and baby life (myself included!). I have so much respect for women who focus just on their babies. I wanted something slightly different that I couldn’t find in an office, so I created it. I’m bringing my family along for it. And I wouldn’t be able to do half of what I do without a partner who shares the load, caregivers who genuinely care about our children, and clients who see me fully. Once more managers, companies, and businesses start to see and ENCOURAGE dads to play a bigger part, maybe we’ll start to see some “dad-preneur” videos, too. You seeing this, jeff@amazon.com?
Until then, it’s “entrepreneur” to you.
