An Open Letter to My Daughter on Her 4th Birthday
Bianca—
Today, on the eve of your fourth birthday, we took you to the ballet. I knew you’d love it because you love everything girly and pink and purple and gilttery and pretty and extra. I watched your face as the first set of ballerinas danced onto the stage in tutus that showed off every hue of the rainbow. Your big blue eyes got even bigger.
“Beautiful!” you gasped.
In my seat two over, with your brother in between us, my own blue eyes welled, for so many reasons:
You are the kindest, most big-hearted, and most excitable human I’ve ever met
Your enthusiasm—for everything, including feeding the cats and wiping up their puke—is boundless
You are wild and opinionated and always telling your “Da!” what for (I think I might love the combination of these things the most)
Your long curls are about as untamed as you are
You give the best, tightest, and most unsolicited aggressive hugs
You love to run up and down the hall naked, making me yell “streaker!” on every lap
You tell me I’m beautiful and compliment my outfits
You pick out your own outfits every day and they are very…you!
You have a huge appetite and a big interest in food. Tonight, after the ballet, you first reached for a huge leaf of raw iceberg lettuce like it wasn’t no thang, because it isn’t
You have the most expressive face. My favorite is when you ask me if I want to do something and nod as you ask, leading me to the answer you want to hear
You are a STAR on stage at your school concerts
You are eager to learn and help and tell us about your future pink house’s five pink toilets
Your giggle rocks your whole body
You told me the other week that you want to plan something with “your girls”
I could go on and on, gf. You are a gift. I can’t wait to talk to you about your birth, to cry a little about it because it still kinda traumatizes me, but not because of you…because of how I was left alone right after we met. Your aggressive love means even more to me because of that.
And, for the first time in our life together, your birthday is on Mother’s Day! Finally, I might get some credit on your day for actually doing the work to get you here, but that’s a political conversation for another time.
I love you.
Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle—me especially.
Happy birthday, baby,
Mom
