Oliver Douglas—

Last night, for the first time in our life together, you looked at me and told me I was annoying you. My sweet, kind, patient, handsome young man was irritated with me—and felt compelled to make it known. You saw me chuckle. I was stunned, impressed, and a little hurt. But mostly I was impressed because not only did you use your words (something I nag you to do constantly), but you now have the language to speak to your feelings and experiences.

That, my dude, is a super powerful thing.

You’ve grown so much this year. It’s not just that you’re taller physically. You’re confidence is flourishing. You’re one of the youngest kids in your class and you’re bringing home 100%s on nearly everything. While I don’t want numbers and academic, standardized assessments to define you, I see your big brain at work and I am forever awed by it. You are so smart. You are already doing big things.

I see you get in flow with your LEGOs, building your trophy heads for kids 18+ with absolute ease. You are self-directed and completely content to be in your own energy. I can tell you like yourself, and that is an attribute I hope you never lose.

One of my concerns for you has always been how easy you are. Yes, you’re a stubborn little shit sometimes, but that, I can handle. We worried about you getting bulldozed by other kids at school because you can be deferential. You are the olive branch—the peacemaker—after all, but I’ve seen you stand in your power more and more this year (see “irritating” above) and I am confident you’ll be able to hold your own with any conflict that presents. And if not, the lessons for you will be one and done.

I love our dates, and I plan to take you on more. I love reading with you and seeing how much progress you’ve made in such a short time. I love making posters with you because you’re methodical and anal retentive and excited about stickers and completely on my level. I love when you lead us on mountain walks and speak your mind, even when it hurts my feelings.

You are the best thing that ever took 4+ hours to push out of my body, and I am so grateful every day you chose me as your mom.

We have a lot more years to play and adventure and irritate each other. I can’t wait to see what they bring.

Happy birthday, ODP. Our lives are all the richer because you’re in them.

I love you,

Mom

Letters to my son on his 5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd, and 1st birthdays